hello!! can u believe christmas is just a week away? i cant!!
im constantly in an existential crisis about how i should use my own blog. how often is too often to post? what should i post about?? idk!! heres what ive been up to lately. thats something i can definitely post about
movies
ive been getting really into movies lately. i used to hate movies. they felt too long and simultaneously too short to actually tell a whole story. it felt like i needed like a show thatd take me 6 months to finish in order to feel like i could actually get into the story. now im starting to feel the opposite! i cant handle long shows right now. i think its been really nice to just end a day with a movie. i dont have to commit to watching like 40 hours of a show to get the whole story, i can just sit down and see an entire story in 2 hours. and theres some really good movies out there!!! i feel like i used to not watch very good movies, but im really enjoying learning what i appreciate in a movie and discovering new directors. currently im really into the work of hirokazu kore-eda. two of his movies ive seen are after life and still walking. still walking was such a wonderful movie.
but because ive been making movie-watching into like a daily pasttime its made me unsure how i wanna deal with it on my blog!! it feels so spammy to make a new post every day about every movie i saw, which is what i wouldve been doing this week, because every movie i saw this week was like incredible and i had so many thoughts on all of them. im thinking of maybe making reviews of stuff ive seen into a separate thing on my website... probably with its own rss feed. i did also make a letterboxd, and i might continue to post there too, but i do really prefer having this stuff in my own little space on the internet. i think i will take some inspiration from letterboxd though, when i add a movie section to my website. i really like letterboxd's movie diary thing. i want it here.
-- oops i did this while writing this blog post. i have a page now for reviews of stuff ive watched!! /watching!! go check it out :3
i also have a little thing on the front page that shows my three recently watched movies. yayyyy
volunteering at a cave
i started volunteering at a cool local rock venue thats in a literal cave. thats been really cool!!! theres so many cool people there. every time i volunteer there at least one random person comes up to me and compliments me on my makeup which is a hugee confidence boost.
theres not much more to say about it. i like the cave. i thrive in the cave. i yearn for the cave. etc. etc. etc.
trying to use social media
ive been betraying my whole "refusing to use social media" thing lately. but this has also strangely coincided with feeling way more stressed every day!!! i started using mastodon more regularly recently because i wanted to see what ppl i dont hear from anymore since cohost shut down are up to. tried using bluesky too but that website is impossible for me. idk. i dont really like using social media websites!! ive been finding myself clicking these little apps obsessively way more than i'd like to and it does not really improve my day much. i do like seeing what some of the cool people i follow are up to, but most of it feels like noise to me.
i think a big problem for me is that ive changed in a way that just makes me not vibe with scrolling any platform regularly anymore. when i was so isolated from everything around me in the real world, and the internet was my only possible refuge for any sort of social interaction, i Needed social media. now its like, i'd rather just meet people in real life. as im slowly growing more confident in my own skin and finding spaces where i can be myself in the real world, i just dont want to spend much of my energy on-line. social media platforms always feel like they require too much of my energy now.
other stuff
i also had exams!! that shit went so fucking bad.